Sunday Night Planning

Sunday nights used to be my time to mentally crash through lesson plans and weekly chores.  I needed to just walk through lectures, prepare handouts, make lists of what to photocopy, or notes of what needed to be done during conference hour in order to have peace and sleep at night.

I also needed to consider what errands needed to be ran and what sorts of weekend plans I'd need to prepare for the following weekend... especially if it meant out of town visits.

I used to have such a hard time sleeping on Sunday nights, especially in my first year of teaching.  I also encountered sleeping difficulties during my school age years. I am not sure exactly if my sixth grade worries really merited such anxiety or not, but I do know that from the time I was twelve, I experienced restlessness at night, especially before a school day.

During that first year as a teacher/grad student, I had so much on my plate. I didn't actually realize that waking up each hour on the hour wasn't normal... it was my normal routine... until my doctor recommended I see a psychiatrist about getting some Ambien.  I followed her and advice and... WOW.  What a wonder drug!  I got the.best.sleep.ever.

As a first year parent, I experience a lot of the sleeplessness and restlessness during the night.  Sometimes its because I am trying to plan out what I did not do today and must do tomorrow or thinking about how I can make tomorrow a more positive day of interactions with my son and husband.  I often problem solve and try to identify the kinks in our schedule that may have attributed to Little Boy's unusual behaviors or physical symptoms.  Other times I am just awake because I am feeding him three or four times before 6 AM. 

Unfortunately, I cannot go to my drug of choice to turn off my thoughts.  Ambien isn't compatible with this stage of motherhood! 

And what a bummer.  It gave Sunday Night Planning a definite ending time, which made my Monday Morning Life have a better start time. 

At least now I can have Monday Morning Nap time to compensate for the lack of rest I experienced the evening before.

Oh, and my Sunday Night Plans that I am considering now include:
  - Cleaning baby fluids from carseat
   - Mailing the last of the month's bills
   - Menu planning and grocery planning
    - Laundry from weekend (yuck)
   - How to organize my Couch to 5K plan for the week
   - upload and order photos from Walgreens.com
   - Make Dear Santa wish lists for myself, family, and baby
    - which TV shows are important this week and what nights they are on (haha!)
   - research how to clean baby fluids from sofa
    - Arrange round 2 of vaccinations for baby (and blog about my opinion of vaccinations)
   - Respond to several questions I've received via blog
    - Looking into some sort of weekly chore chart to help me organize my time and keep my home more comfortable and sanitary.  because my kitchen floor is in a need of a moppin.

Ugh!!! Post Baby Waist Woes!

I don't normally post anything that is body image related, because so many people struggle with appearance and their mental image of how they appear.  And I think body image rants and raves really aren't helpful.  Well, actually, they are usually hurtful.  Compare, despair,  is a mantra a therapist taught me once.

But.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Seriously.  Seriously abdomen!  When will you deflate?

My fingers have finally gotten unswollen enough to wear both my wedding and engagement rings.  That says a lot about my current puffiness.

But I cannot stand that I have no shirts that fit properly over my torso.  Too baggy up there, too tight over there, too loose on this side, too snug over those.  Geez. 

I am trying to find something to wear to that baby shower and I am having fits about it. Of course, the lovely pumpkin orange dressy top I was going to wear got baby barf on it as I was putting the little gem down for a nap.  Of course.  Now I can't find just the right thing that's not too clingy on my middle but not too boxy overall to pull myself together and get re-dressed.

  I needed to step away from the closet and breathe. 

And whine a bit.

And I don't want to wimp out and not go because of my physical appearance.  That would be lame and so... what I want to avoid doing.  I don't want to teach avoidance of uncomfortable situations to my kid by setting examples like this.

Come on, why can't some company make a great transitional outfit that works on so many levels for new moms who don't want to look sloppy or wear ill fitting clothes?

Baby Shower Gift Giving Advice

I am going to a shower for a former co-worker this afternoon.  Normally I am not into those kinds of activities, but really, my social calendar is quite limitted these days.  So I going with bells on.

I did NOT want a baby shower.  I got chills thinking about playing games that would be unfun or unpleasant.  Like share your most horrendous labor story.  Or guess how much the baby weighs because the mom has gained so much weight.  Or pin the tail on the baby.  Or whatever.

I register for baby products, which was nice. I felt weird doing it though.  I don't know why I felt so weird asking for gifts.  Probably it stems from watching newly engaged couples register for household products while I judged them harshly, thinking "You're not going to need that! You really won't use all those sets of dishes.  You don't need more barware than a bar! You probably won't make martinis and maragirtas and need champagne flutes, too!  Register for basic stuff, like a cooler!  Or serving spoons!". 

So I guess I thought registering for baby products would let many other people see my inadequacies... what I thought I needed, but totally didn't.  I thought that parents, especially ones who were newly so, would have better ideas.

But then I got very into registering and adding more items online.  It became fun!!  Did I need several pairs of bed sheets? Who knew!  Better click "add more"!

And actually, I received very few items from my registries.  This sort of annoyed me.  I got all kinds of sweet little baby clothes, but very few of the things I thought I needed!   I really appreciated gifts that I wanted.

After a time, I came to appreciate other sorts of gifts: gifts that were given from experience!  And gift cards!  These are going to be my go-to gifts from now on.

So, if you are knocked up and my friend, or a friend who plans on having a baby shower, you will probably get one or a few of these items:

• Avent pacifers. They are the best.  They have little travel covers, and land nipple-side up about 95% of the time.
• Aden and Anaise Swaddle Blankets: These are deluxe sized, muslin swaddle blankets.  They are the only ones large enough to swaddle a baby larger than 2 weeks old!  We have five of them and use them every day.
• Book: The Baby Whisperer.  Tracey Hogg has great advice for never before been parents!
• Cetaphil: Because your baby will probably have baby acne and its sad to see his complexion all spotty. 
• Cool Mist Humidifier: Totally necessary.
• Gift Card: To buy the fun things you'll need at Target, like bibs, breastfeeding supplies, wipes, transitional clothing, gummy bears, whatever you need on a trip out of the house!

Then I had a shower.  Seriously, how many things did I get that

 

One Year Ago...

Just a year ago, I couldn't have done the things I am doing this morning.

Jamming to my iPod hooked up to Husby's fancy stereo equipment (I didn't know how to set it up).
Picking at leftover ham and beans that even the Neelys would be proud of. (I didn't have the courage to try this food!)
Dancing around while my hair color gets turned to the shade called Truffle. (I had to be at my job teaching kids).
Singing to my baby to make him giggle (I didn't have a baby, though I was three and a half weeks preggo).

Operation Christmas Child Shopping Spree

Last night, I got to do something superfun.  I took two kids Christmas shopping.  We practically ran through the aises of Target with joyful shouts, examining every toy, pack of markers, and pair of colorful Christmas socks.

And here's the thing... these kids were shopping for other kids they didn't even know!  We were participating in the charity Operation Christmas Child.  Its a program that sends lovely, little boxes filled with joyful bits to children in orphanages, poor places, and non-Christian countries all around the world.  Often these kids are underloved, underfed, and have special needs.  These kids would not get to experience the fun of opening a gift for Christmas, and some children wouldn't have even known that it was Christmas or that kids actually got presents on that day.  These kids also are able to learn about God's love for them through a small book included with the gift that is written in their language. 

We purchased toy cars, hair bands, markers, pencils, toothbrushes, combs, stuffed dogs, tootsie pops, Hello Kitty rings, crayons, stickers, washclothes, soap, and fun little Target dollar spot games for these kids.  I was so proud of the children for saying things like:

"Oh!  I had that last year!  She will really love getting this lip gloss!"

"No, I think this car is better.  Its shinier and I bet its more fun to play with."

"Let's go look at stuffed animals.  Every child needs something to snuggle."

"Don't buy those markers... they don't work well.  Let's get the good kind for her!".

Sniff.  Tears of pride and delight.  I hope that my son will be as generous and thoughful as these two kids.  Where did I find such kids? They attend the same church service as we do, and the little girl is entralled by all things baby, especially ours.  We got to know this family and recently, the mother has been suffering from a tough illness.  I wanted to help them out, and I am so glad they allowed me to! 

It was a real blessing for me to be around kids again.  Well, other than my kid.  You know, kids that can talk!  Kids that are excited about video games and Harry Potter and slushies and sharing their Christmas joy with others.

I started to participate in this program about fifteen years ago, when my church did it.  My mom took our youth group shopping and we filled up boxes.  It was so exciting.  I also did this during college, and it made me feel warm and fuzzy, because I wasn't around kids on a daily basis.  I truly think that organizations and programs like this benefit the giver as much as the giftee.  My entire evening was warmed by shopping for this.  I almost forget about the two children who will have a warmer winter because of these gift boxes!

Note: All imagines are from the Samaritan's Purse website.  You should check that website out!

Lovely Day.

Today was the loveliest day of November thus far.

To start out, I had the luxury of having my husband home with me.  That meant divided baby-chores and doubled fun times.  He prepared pancakes for us both and entertained the Small One while I enjoyed a half hour extra sleep (the term extra is relative... really, I missed three hours of sleeping during the night because of babycare). 

 When he went off to do some shooting and hobbies in the morning, I felt so much more relaxed knowing I'd see him again three hours not eight. Sometimes I feel like the hours I am home alone with the baby creep by, especially when I need reinforcements!  Instead of coming straight home, he called with a suggestion.  Our town has a Veterans' Day parade and ceremony, and would I like to join him?  It was not how I planned my day, but I didn't mind the abberation to our routine.  We went downtown, and I carried the baby in my newest Peanut Shell pouch carrier (note: its the most feminine carrier, too.  So what if my baby is a boy? I am a girl, and its my apparel, too!).

My son was acting a little fussy after an hour in the carrier, so I put him down on the grass to watch the ceremony.  I realized that it was his first time sitting on grass!  And his first time to touch leaves!  So, even though the ceremony was going on, I took some photos of him experiencing these new things.  I also took a few photos of the ceremony, too.  For good measure.  Out of respect, you know.

As you might notice from the photos, it was a lovely day full of sun.  November has been an especially sunny month for us in Missouri, though compared to our unusually cloudy October, today's UV index was off the charts!  Sadly, Baby Boy wasn't too interested in sitting quietly and listening to the speakers or partaking in a moment of silence. 

He threw a fit.

A big one.

One with a red face, a huge frown, crocodile tears, and loud wails.  I snuck away, willing Husby to follow.  Eventually, he did catch up to us.  I hoisted the kid on him. Phew.  Someone new to carry the load of a screaming child!

After a brief ride through downtown, I realized that the baby was calming down.  So calm that he would probably take the rest of that nap that was cut short by the change of plans!  So I decided we should run errands and enjoy the moments of silence.

We went to the library to return books and CDs.  Then we drove to pick up my contacts from the eye doctor (which have been ready for a month, I've just had a month full of excuses why I couldn't get over to that side of town and unstrap the infant to carry him in for a twenty second errand).  We purchased a mattress for my in-laws crib. 

And then we pushed our luck.

Me:  "Oooh, how about we try lunch at El Maguey's?".

Husby: "Nah, we can't make it.  He's been too good to long."

Me: "Let's do try!  Lunch menu is fast service, right?"

Husby: "We're living on the wild side!  At least there's an option of to go boxes."

Me: "Goody!"

And then I orderd tasty chicken tacos with guacamole and tomato and a Diet Coke with lemon verde. 

And then the muchacha smiled all through lunch. 

Lovely.

I felt as if we were one of those families that worked from home or were independently weathly.  We could go out in the middle of the week and do errands together!  It was like a movie.  A fantasy movie with a hot leading man and a lovely leading lady.  And a cute baby with a funny grin.  The movie title would be: Happy Little Family with Rich Benefactor Lives Lovely Life.  (HLFRBLL for short.)

Meal Plan Monday on Tuesday

Saturday - Holy Haluski, a la Guy Fieri for lunch, then to the bonfire at night for fire roasted smores and dawgs, pick up ham bone at Heavenly Ham
Sunday - left over Haluski for lunch (equally as tasty the next day!), Egg Fu Young a la Rachael Ray for dinner with Jasmine Rice, prep veggies for Pasta E Fagioli
Monday - Ham and Beans and Beer Bread
Tuesday - HyVee's Take and Bake Pepperoni Pizza, Pasta E Fagioli Soup
Wednesday - Left overs!  The beans and soup will be even better this time around!
Thursday - Company.  Beef Tips, Asparagus, Bok Choy, and Brown Rice
Friday - Sunday - on the road, visiting, deer hunting, etc.


This week's menu is made from foods that I felt were a risk to try out... lots of veggies and beans this week!  I plan to write about the haluski... I took photos! Its such a weird dish and such a tasty one, too. I also plan to write about Egg Fu Yong, a dish I never thought I would enjoy, as well as write   about the vegetable Bok Choy.  I will also write about my experience with Ham and Beans, a dish I can't beleive that I enjoy!  I've started a few posts about cooking and its theraputic index in my life, as well as how this whole "Husby brings home bacon, I fry it in the pan" type relationship we're developing!

Trip Down Memory Lane: April 2003

This photo was taken at the STL Zoo when I was 20 years old.  Husby was not Husby at the time, just my boyfriend of three months.

I notice many things when I see this photo...

• 
  
  Our hair cuts.  My hair has been virtually unchanged since the photo...sure, I've had differing shades of red, brown, and blonde and it has been +/- four inches.  His hair was curly and unruly, usually covered by that blue HS baseball hat.  Now his hair is clipped short...and...he wears a beard.  I am still dealing with the facial hair situation.  Its a tough road to walk down, especially when I see how handsome his face is without it in the photo!
  
  
  
• 
  
  We are both wearing shirts that no longer are in our closets.  My shirt was a spring break souvenir from this funny, old shop called The Gay Dolphin.  It was such an old store that it was actually named before gay meant anything homosexual.  It was so much fun to go into that blast-from-the-past store, and I had to buy something.  The shirt smelled like moth balls and basement and was made in the late seventies.   It was only $2.77, and it was size small.  It shrunk even more in the dryer, and of course its not fashionable to wear belly shirts these days (especially post-baby!) so it is no longer in my wardrobe.  His shirt was from Bass Pro.  It was so soft and well loved that it was worn it bits!  I've never worn a shirt down to threads like Husby wore that shirt.
  
  
  
• 
  
  We were full of energy and exhuberance.  Our life was free from many responsibilities, save for preparing for midterms or making a bulletin board for the dorms we worked in.  We had so much energy back then and life was sparkly and new and exciting.
  
  
  
• 
  
  My foot is kicked up because that is how I posed for flirty pictures with the boy I loved.
  
  
  
• 
  
  The quality of the photo is grainy because it was taken with a disposible camera!  We only had those one-time use cameras during college. 
  
  
  

Ah, Memory Lane, you have so many interesting places to see.

Sitting Around a Fire With Two Babies On My Lap...

 Our friends hosted an informal and spontaneous hot dog roast on a new property they recently bought.  The weather was crisp and cool, but not by any means cold.   The menu was simple, hot dogs, bottled water, and smores, and the guest list was small - just a few families from our church.

For the last hour or so of the event, I shared a seat with my son and lovely baby-friend, Taylor

Both children  were lulled by the colors and warmth of the fire and felt noticeably heavier and relaxed in my arms.  I felt very peaceful.  I made up a little song to sing to Taylor and tried to teach her the words to You Are My Sunshine,  It was fun to listen to her chime in on the ends of the stanzas... happy, love you...

I started to consider what it would be like to be the mother of two children, and I suddenly felt a bit heavy hearted.  My first pregnancy occurred when Taylor's mom was pregnant, too.  And though Taylor was born four months before my daughter would have been , I have always felt a connection to her because she reminds me of what I could have had, too.  What would it have been like to be there with both of my children?  A family of four? 

I think it would have been quite nice.  Tonight was good, and God is good for giving me the gift of my son. God is good to give me the comfort of a small, cheerful girl to ease the sorrow I still feel.

Right before this photo was taken, Taylor started to wimper and pout.  I asked what was wrong and she said "He spit on my shoe!".  I realized I would be pretty sad if I had baby puke in my pink crocs, too!

A wooly Husby and a hooded Baby.

Taylor's dad, Chris, and her brother, Emmett. They hosted the party.

Things You Can't Take Back...

I admit it... I return a lot of the things I buy.  When I was decorating our guest bedroom, I returned three sets of curtains, two mirrors, and two bedspreads before I settled on exactly what I wanted.  I order from landsend.com because I feel secure that I can return purchases to my local Sears free of charge.  This week when I bought two pairs of athletic shoes, I asked the store what their return policy was, just in case I got buyer's remorse when I wore them around the hotel  (I didn't!).

I am no longer able to return items to WalMart with out a receipt. I am banned.  I've used up that free pass exchanging or returning baby shower items and miscellaneoius household items so I could get exactly what I need.

I am also unable to return or exchange anything I say.

I have become keenly aware of how I say more than I should and how it affects those I talk to. 

I cannot ask to take back a sarcastic comment to my husband that hurt him more than I intended. 

I cannot take back a comment I thought was witty, but ended up being taken seriously and became offensive. 

I cannot wish away a conversation that didnt' go as I had hoped because I said too much or said it with less tact than I needed.

I can think of three very significant times in the last five years when I felt I would have paid any cost to take back a piece of gossip I had passed on or a question that was better left unasked.  Specifically, I lost a good friend because I told her about how others were hurt by her actions, and it wasn't my place to relate this information.  She didn't react well.  And specifically, I can think of several occasiions when I have ruined a perfectly good evening by nagging or bringing up a topic that I know has the chance to upset my husband or make him feel depressed.  I know while it is coming out of my mouth that there will be consequences to what I say, but I keep pressing on. 

And then I realize I cannot talk my way out of the sticky situation that has arisen.

Yuck.

I never fully understood the messages Paul taught about "taming the tongue" in the book of James.  I guess I didn't have such a blabbermouth issue when I was younger. (in fact, I was actually quite shy...)

These days, I am taking to heart more Bible verses and preaching that can help me with this character flaw.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.


Proverbs 12:18 ESV
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.


Proverbs 21:23 ESV

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Psalm 34:13 ESV
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.


Proverbs 10:19 ESV
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.


James 1:26 ESV
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

James 3:11 ESV

Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water?

James 3:10 ESV
From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.



Lord, help me to be wise with the words I say and the conversation topics I start.  Give me courage to apologize to those I have offended.  Thank you for your Word that teaches me the right way to live and the easier way to live. Amen.