Baby Alarm Clock

My son was our alarm clock this morning, and unfortunately, we could not figure out how to hit his snooze button.  He woke up three times during the night, which is unusual for him, and meant that I got very little continuous sleep!

 After twenty or so minutes of Husby trying to calm him, he said, "Well, babe... wanna get up for the day? Its probably 6:30, so we could get an earlier head start to your parents' home."

"Ugh... blemmmmchacah," I mumbled sleepily.  Which meant, only if you drive and we stop for some caffeine later.

As it so happened, it was really only 5 AM, so we got a very early start to the day.  So early that we could have made several door buster deals and still arrived at my parents' home before breakfast.

Perhaps I will use him next year to help me wake for Black Friday shopping, which is something I certainly would like to do at least once in my life.

Post Pregnancy Hair Loss

Sure, I read about this in the pregnancy and new mama books.

But I didn't really believe it to be true.

Hair loss?  No way! Not me! That's soooweird.

But the last three times I've washed my hair, I have large CHUNKS of hair tangled in my fingers as I shampoo.  EEEEK.  So, I rub my palms together, rolling up these monster hairballs, and put them in the trash.  I mean, there's nothing else to do!

I don't look noticeably balder.  And I do have naturally thick hair.  So probably its like my hair is just a regular thickness.  Or at least I hope.

The freaky part is just HOW MUCH HAIR comes out.  For instance, I often lean over my son's changing table and play a little game of sharing kisses with him.  The other day I did so and he pulled my hair. Oops, I mean HE PULLED MY HAIR OUT OF MY HEAD!  About fiftteen strands of hair clenched in his little fists!  I let out a big yelp, which caused the baby to let out a big yelp. 

I think I've learned that in order to prevent the acceleration of my post-pregnancy hair loss, I won't lean over his changing table, not unless I have my hair pulled into a ponytail!
 

Four Months Old!

In a few days, my son will be four months old. 

FOUR MONTHS of mothering under my belt.

Four whole months of breastfeeding.

Four months and counting on diaper change and cloth diaper washing. 

Four months of sleep deprivation. 

Four months of intermittent makeup use. 

Four months of snuggles with someone shorter than me.

Four months of living in a house with two males who share the same first and last names 

Four months of trying to anticipate and react to my baby's every need. 

Four months of learning how to be selfless and to resist selfish tendencies. 

Four months of rapid-fire photography. 

Four months of searching for misplaced pacifiers.

Four months of consequences of reflux.

Four months without working outside the home for money.

Four months experiencing life as a mother.

Four months of extreme thirstiness and a deflating stomach.

Four months transitioning into the role of mother, a role that has become increasingly more comfortable, more full filling, more interesting, easier, less stressful, and entertaining.

FOUR MONTHS!  We've survived. He's thrived.  Hurray!

Thankful

This year, my list of blessings is much longer to count.  This past Sunday, our pastor preached about gratitude and the reasons why Christians are to praise God. 

I feel challenged by this quotation:  Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it".  Or conversely, its like giving someone a wrapped gift, but they refuse to open it. How frustrating that would be! 

It is my goal and intention to write out my thankfulness in Thank You note format to God.  I need to express my gratitude for a life that is abundant in blessings. 

 

Nervous About Something Silly...

I was given a blog makeover package from my bloggy friend, Mindy.  I felt so excited until I read about the process of how it happens.  I have to let this graphic designer be a blog administrator on the blogger site.

Yep, I know that is how she will install it.  Yep, I get that.  But the weird paranoid part of me is uncomfortable sharing that with her! I don't know her, for crying out loud.  I am suer she is a talented individual that behaves professionally.  But... I haven't ever shared a password with anyone!

And so far, I've always designed my blog headers or at least fiddled with different templates.  I know that I have no brain power or ambition when it comes to learning HTML code, so I should just give in.  But I am nervous.

Overtired

Overtired is a word used to describe what its like for a baby to be awake longer than normal or what is healthy for him.  When my son is overtired, he jams his fingers into his eyes and starts to make this odd whining/groaning noise that soothes him to sleep.  Sometimes though, its very difficult to coax an overtired baby to sleep.  Its like he has been up so long that he has gotten a second wind and intends to spread grumpiness around the family.

 

I feel overtired today. I had a Big Day yesterday, which involved being out and about for most of the day.  Doing shopping.  Nothing too strenuous! I was helping a friend select a more comfortable wardrobe, so its not like I was carrying heavy rocks around or doing long division in my head (two things that I think would make me reasonably tired!). 

 

I also have had two close friends over as company since Sunday afternoon, and I know I do tend to get extra doses of adrenaline when I have company.  I think I get anxiety my company being less than comfortable, so I want to clean and make things perfect for them.  Only now with a baby, I can make things half perfect for them, because I am constantly interrupted or distracted by him.  So I guess half perfect is just regular/standard.  Ha!  I guess its better than mostly imperfect!

 

So this weekend I scrubbed my floors and cabinets in the kitchen.  This task hasn't been done since June. I had a good burst of energy to do it on Saturday, but I feel like I am still recovering!  Isn't that odd?  I mean, I have been unpregnant four months now. I already had swine flu, so its can't be that making me tired.  My baby is starting to sleep for about 6 hours at night, and then another four hours in a row after that, so I am getting more sleep.  But, Iamstillsotired.sosososotired.

 

I think the excitement of the last year has left me a bit overtired.  Just like my son, I am a bit fussy and I feel like jamming my fingers in my eyes.  

 

I think I will take it easy for today and TRY to take it easy (naps!) over this Thanksgiving traveling weekend.  Taking it easy will mean that I won't make culinary creations, complain about things (so draining!), or be the one to drive to and fro.  I will participate in all the activities, but I will be a bit more muted and lackadaisical.

 

 

Company, Company!

My sister Rachie and my dear friend Ann have come to visit. Their stays are overlapping, which meant that Baby H could have twice the attention from aunties!



We spent the day shopping downtown at our favorite places, including a Missouri artisan shop called Bluestem, which is my absolute favorite place to look (to buy would mean I would have a dozen wooden spoons and odd metalwork art objects cluttering the house and an empty pocket book). We also went to the Candy Factory, which is like a glimpse into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I won't share the other stores we went to, because we purchased gifts for others who read the blog there... hint... downtown shops!

We had a tasty lunch at Shakespeare's... YUM! And then returned home for Rachie to play baby sitter while Ann and I went to Barnes and Noble! I am thankful for my superfun Monday, though I do wish I had taken a photo of me with those lovelies, too!

Quote: "You've Never Been Excited About Cake Before"

Another random comment made by someone that really got to me.

Here's the scene - I'm out having Chinese food with my mom, sis, baby (of course, he isn't eating egg drop soup... not yet!), and gram.  It had just been my sister's birthday, and she had received three magnificent cakes.  We're talking SUPER TASTY cakes.  And photogenic ones, too.

And for the three days prior to this conversation, I'd been watching Cake Boss marathons on television at my parents' home.  I had cake on the brain.

"Ooo, you've got left over cake? Maybe we should stop by for a slice!" I said.

"Oh, hun. That's unlike you! You don't get excited about cakes.  You would have never said that in the past", commented my grandmother.

Her comment caught me off gaurd... and made me wonder if I wasn't supposed to like cake. If I'd given her the impression that I wasn't into dessert or something.  If the fact that I am still packing extra pounds post pregnancy means I am eating cake like everyday. 

This totally gave me a food complex. Yes, its true. I used to restrict my food. I used to limit desserts.  I rarely ate in front of family members, and I convinced myself I wasn't into desserts.  It was part of an eating disorder! That's why I never made comments like that! 

Of course, my grandmother never knew about that struggle, and she doesn't know that comments like that make me feel bad about myself. She couldn't know that it was a triggering remark.  Or that I felt major guilty like I shouldn't ever think about eating cake since I didn't use to and I used to be thin. 

Yet another random quote that got into my head. 

Quote: "You're the Happiest I've Ever Seen You"

Lately, people have told me things about myself that have really made me think. I decided to write them down and ponder them, so I could finally get them out of my head and on paper.

Here's one: "You must really enjoy being a mom.  I have never seen you so happy."

This off hand comment was made at a social function about three days after I delivered my son.  A close friend said it. I was really surprised that she said it.  So surprised that my comment was "Ehmmm, yes."

I was exhausted.  I had a teeny baby in my charge, and I knew very little about him.  I had house guests and minimal time for personal affairs like showering or blogging or sleeping.  Happy? Happiest ever?  Was I a total grump bunny before?

Then I realized... I met this girl when I was pregnant the first time in 2007.  We were both pregnant, actually.  She went on to have a lovely, healthy baby, and I... didn't.  I experienced hard-core, faith-questioning depression.  We remained friends, but I realized she never knew me as a woman who was carefree and blissful.  I was totally NOT blissful as a mom of a miscarried little one.

So I am probably the happiest she has ever known me.  Maybe my outward appearance conveys this happiness better than it did in the past now that I have a little one to dote on and interact with.  I'm not sure.

Is this the happiest I've ever been?   Is this the happiest I will ever be?

No, on both occasions, I think.  This baby has only lessened my saddness by adding joy to my life.   I have much more joy in my life to temper out the bad stuff.  Its like when I first fell in love with my husband... my close friends noticed a big change in my demeanor and said I must be in love, that I must be truly happy.  Husby had just added a larger portion of joy into my life.

I think that as my circle of loved ones grows through extended family, friendships, or perhaps more children, people will continue to say "You're the happiest I've ever seen you" because I will continue to grow in happiness.

Trip Down Memory Lane: June 2004

Recipe for Wine Tasting:

Suitable college apartment to host event

Wine glass, one per person

Corkscrew and/or pronged bottle opener

Variety of local wines, mostly sweet and semi-sweet

Girls, giggling, all older than 21

Light hors d'oeurves, such as crackers, grapes

Large window of time to enjoy conversation and, of course, the vino